March 2012
1 tag
It’s like I want to kill the monster that’s terrorizing me.
But I am the monster.
Woman: Can I have birth control?
Government: No.
Woman: I got pregnant because I didn't have birth control and I don't want the fetus. Can I have an abortion?
Government: No.
Woman: I gave birth to my child but since I wasn't expecting it, I can't afford daycare. Can I have help paying for it?
Government: No.
Woman: Well, why can't I have birth control?
Government: Because. Sex isn't for recreation. It's for procreation.
Woman: But it can help regulate my period and benefit me in other ways.
Government: Too bad.
Man: For no reason other than for recreational sex, may I have birth control?
Government: Do you have a penis?
Man: YES, YES I DO!!
Government: WELL HOWDY, VALID CITIZEN. You can buy condoms by the dozens. Here, here's a pack of special condom for "His Pleasure." Oooh, these come in different colours and flavours. Here, try these. They have ribs on them. And this one glows in the dark!! LOL OMG DICK LIGHTSABER!!
Government: But seriously, you're a man. You can do what ever you want.
Woman: But-
Government: Shut up, you sinning, freeloading whore.
Tumblr: Here, have some kittens...
Tumblr: Delicious food? There.
Tumblr: I bring you some beautiful, insipiring art...
Parents/Roommate/Boss: *walks into the room*
Tumblr: PORN?
Tumblr: YOU SAID PORN?
Tumblr: DID I HEAR DICKS?
Tumblr: WHAT WAS THAT DID YOU MENTION HARDCORE GAY SEX?
Tumblr is full of clothes you can’t wear, food you...
Anonymous asked: what do u mean if you were hot your followers would talk to you? you are hot : p
like this or reblog if you're stoner/party blog.
whospilledthebongwater:
that means the majority of the blog, not two pictures after you reblog this, thankss.
i need people to follow.(:
February 2012
I need a vacation.
staypantless:
Including the following; -an ounce of weed. -the beach -a couple handles of vodka -3 day pass to disneyland -a black lab puppy
double-baked:
